OK, guys.  So I actually feel really passionate about this…

Going out to eat with babies or toddlers does not have to be a nightmare.  

Not with infants, not with small babies who crawl, not even with toddlers who walk!  There, I said it!

BUT if you aren’t practicing good dining habits when in your own home or at a local restaurant, it’s a pretty unreasonable expectation that your child will behave as you had hoped when traveling.

Getting Restaurant Ready From Your Own Home

I’m firm about three meal related rules at home to “practice like we play” so we are restaurant and travel ready:

Once you’re in the high chair, you cannot come out until the meal is finished.  There have been times where we were eating out and Claire has cried or screamed to get out.  It happens to all of us!  But the first time you let them run around, they will always remember that crying gets them what they want, and that’s definitely not the behavior you want to encourage.  And if you don’t want them to do it while out, you don’t want them to have that expectation at home.

You always have to sit down to eat.  If you are at home or out and by a table/chair, that’s where you go if you want to be fed.  If we are at a store or out and about, you go in your stroller.  No stroller?  Well, plop yourself down and take a seat.  This also helps prevent your child from wanting to run around the restaurant when out.

You always have to eat in the designated eating area– dining room or kitchen.  This is a very practical rule as it helps tremendously with limiting stains on the couch, ants in the house, and my time spent on cleaning the floors.  As far as getting restaurant ready, it helps with your child making the connection that, “ok, I’m in a dining area, it must be time to eat!”

General Restaurant Do’s and Don’ts

There are some basic guidelines that we follow when dining out with our toddler, because we want to set our whole family up for success for a really fun time out.

For example, is it the best idea to go out to eat at 8:30pm when Claire goes to bed at 6:30?  Ehh, I’d say probably not.

Our basic Do’s and Don’ts of setting everyone up for success when dining out with babies, toddlers, or small kids:

DON’T go out to eat at nap time or long after bed time.  A tired kid is not a kid who wants to sit in their high chair cooperatively.

DON’T apologize to other diners- own it.  You are entitled to go out to eat just as much as they are.  And I don’t care where it is.  Granted, are we going to white table cloth candle-lit meals?  No, but we’re not settling for fast food joints, either.

DON’T give in immediately to your child if they start fussing in a high chair.  Distract, distract, distract.  And engage them in conversation from an early age-before they can even talk!  This is the most important key to establishing a good diner early on.  How do you feel when you are out to eat with a group and nobody is talking to you?  Not very good, right?  I would be screaming and wanting attention if I were them, too!

DON’T be a nuisance to other diners and allow your kids to run around the restaurant.  This is more for your benefit than anyone else; it’s much easier to enforce good behaviors than to correct bad ones.  I know it can be hard, but if you give in *just this one time* and allow your toddler or child to run around they will never forget it and forever fight you to stay in their seat.

DON’T feel like you have to wait to order the kid meal.  Often times, we order Claire’s food as soon as we sit down before we select our meals.  If we do order at the same time, we sometimes ask the server to bring out Claire’s food as soon as it’s ready.

DO listen to your mom-gut. If for whatever reason eating out just is not going to happen for your child (and let’s face it, sometimes we just aren’t mentally able to), don’t force it. There have been plenty of times when we changed our plans because we felt, for whatever reason, eating out wasn’t going to end well for any of us. It’s better to throw in the towel early when you know you’re not going to mentally be able to enforce your guidelines than to allow bad habits to form.

DO have a plan in case the restaurant doesn’t have a high chair.  Do you have your stroller?  Is your child able to sit on your lap while you eat or are they too old and wiggly at this point?  Some parents I know pack a high chair in their car.  Not my choice, but it can be a comfort to have as a back up in case a restaurant runs out.

DO engage your child in conversation from an early age-before they can even talk!  This is the most important key to establishing a good diner early on.  I mean, how do you feel when you are out to eat with a group and nobody is talking to you?  Not very good, right?  I would be screaming and trying to get attention if I were them, too!

DO know what your next steps to distracting are if things go south.  Do you have crayons and paper with you?  Did you bring other small toys/distractor items?  Will you or won’t you offer screen time? Make sure you are both on the same page as parents and stick to it.

DO talk to your child frequently about “what good looks like” when it comes to eating out in restaurants or at home.  I love looking through books and magazines to point out and talk through with Claire what we do and how we behave when we eat out.

Bonus: Our favorite distractor toy items for restaurants and eating out (without resorting to iPhones and iPads!)

• Water Wow books
• Reusable sticker pads
• Small machine washable toy
• Board books
• A lot of these are the same items that are good distractors on planes!
• *Rotate the toys you take so your child doesn’t get bored!

A note on screen time:

Doesn’t it feel like this topic is a major separator amongst parents these days?  Personally, we don’t allow Claire to have screen time at meals.  That’s our family rule because we want to encourage socialization amongst all of us.  No judgement if it’s not yours!

Remember, these are just guidelines that I have found that work for us- some you may not agree with and that’s ok, too.  There are times when we have to bend the rules, but I rarely do so, as consistency is key.  At the same time, if following rules is getting you bent out of shape and anxious, then do what’s best for you!

In the end, modeling behavior and reinforcing it every day will enable the whole family to have a great time eating out no matter where you are!

Have any tips or tricks that work for you and your family when dining out?  We’d love to hear from you!  Email us at info@travelisforthekids.com